Dreams From My Father, Part II

The second part of Dreams From My Father brings Obama to Chicago as a community organizer. During his campaign, Obama got a little flack for claiming his work as a community organizer was "executive" experience. When you read all the work he had to do during his first three years in Chicago, you can surely believe he has the gumption it takes to organize the varitey of people in D.C.

The work that he did with the people of the south side of Chicago is pretty amazing. Community organizing is a thankless job for not a lot of money (depending), and you really have to believe in what you're doing. Once again, reading about this part of his life, proved to me that our president is true to himself, even today.

Here are a few passages I found particularly interesting. This one is somewhat future-predicting, and maybe acts as a window into what Obama may feel as president:

"I wondered whether, away from the spotlight, Harold [Washington, Chicago's first black mayor, 1983-1987] thought about those constraints [that nothing seemed to change]. Whether like Mr. Anderson or Mrs. Reese or any number of other black officials who now administered over inner city life, he felt as trapped as those he served, an inheritor of sad history, part of a closed system with few moving parts, a system that was losing heat every day, dropping into low-level stasis.

"I wondered if he, too, felt a prisoner of fate."

I know Obama has just gotten into office, but somedays I wonder if he sits there watching republicans disagree with him - sometimes for good reason, sometimes to just disagree - and feels trapped. If he feels he might not be able to do everything he wants to do. If he might not be able to change, and to serve not only black people but the American people, the way he wants to. Granted, he wouldn't be a very good president if he was already frustrated one month in, but still, I don't envy his job.

The following is a quote from a conversation Obama had with a school counselor in an inner-city Chicago school back when he was a community organizer in the '80s. The counselor talks about the curriculum in black schools:

"Just think about what a real education for these children would involve. It would start by giving a child an understanding of himself, his world, his culture, his community. That's the starting point of any educational process. That's what makes a child hungry to learn - the promise of being part of something, of mastering his environment. But for a black child, everything's turned upside down. From day one, what's he learning about? Someone else's history. Someone else's culture. Not only that, this culture he's suppose to learn is the same culture that's systematically rejected him, denied his humanity."

When I read a passage like this, it makes me a little embarassed about black history month. Why just a month, when white kids learn about their culture all year round (and don't necessarily appreciate it)? What he says makes perfect sense. Of course kids whose ancestors come from a homeland other than Europe would want to learn about it. Of course they're not going to be interested in learning each day about someone else's history. I understand that many Europeans helped found America, and as an American that's important to learn about, but the reasons they came here are not the same reasons black people came here (obviously), or the same reasons any other non-white race came to America. And that too is valuable information. I also understand that there's not enough time in the school year to teach everything. But, I don't think it would hurt to try and find a better balance.

During his time in Chicago is also when Obama met Jeremiah Wright. As someone who wasn't really familiar with Wright when the whole mess went down during Obama's campaign, I found this interesting. Putting religion and church-organization aside, I did find it interesting that Wright's church offered so much more to the community than just a place of worship. It offered Yoga classes, African history classes, volunteer opportunities, etc. It had a membership comprising all economic classes. When Obama first went to a service, he realized that it was a place where people could come and feel like they belong. So, if they can't get it in the schools, maybe they can get it at church. (Note: The first sermon Obama heard from Wright was titled "The Audacity of Hope," which is the title of Obama's other book.)

Obama has now left Chicago, having been accepted to Harvard law. He took a trip to Kenya before he started. I've just started this part of the book. While there were just a few sections of the Chicago portion that moved a little slowly, I'm still really enjoying this book.

They like me, they really like me!

How cool is this?! Lemondrop, a blog-o-mania site of AOL, found little Bookish Bent and made a mention.

You can find it here. It's a cute little post about different women who blog about books. My blog, and two others, got mentioned.

Granted, they made a tiny factual error in where I hail from, but I left a note and hopefully that will get corrected. But overall, I'm so pleased and proud (and curious about how they found me). Fun!

P.S. If you're visiting my blog because you found it on Lemondrop - Hello and welcome!

Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance

I started reading Barack Obama's memoir this week. It wasn't a book I set out to read, but I'd read some good reviews (Bending Bookshelf) and it became an impulse Target purchase on Monday. (This is why I shouldn't walk past the book/movie section, or the home section, or the clothing section, of Target. Just get the toothpaste and get out.)

I like Obama and I'm glad he's in the position he's in currently. But, I'm not someone who thinks he's God's gift, a rock star or our country's saving grace. I think he's a start, though. I've always liked the way he speaks, and how he speaks - like he's sitting across the table from you. And I appreciate his views on race, youth, the middle class, etc. But, when someone gets to level that he's at, you can never quite know if his words are his real words. Is this really what he thinks? Or, is this just rhetoric from the Obama "machine"? I think it's fair to say that politicians, no matter what side they're on, are hard to believe full stop.

With that being said, I am loving Dreams From My Father, for the following reasons:

1. Obama wrote this some 15 years ago, in his early 30s. What does this mean to me? It means he actually wrote it. At that point he didn't have speech writers, he didn't have a staff. He took a year off to write this on his own. And it's good writing. Excellent writing. I'm very impressed. It's engaging, it's funny, it's logical, it feels true, and his voice rings from it. The same voice I've been hearing nearly every day for the past two years. It proves to me that our president is smart and eloquent all on his own.

2. This is a book that discusses race to a great extent (obviously). Can you imagine being a black boy being raised by white grandparents and a white mother? Can you imagine being a white mother trying to raise a black son? Where do you find the influences he needs in his life? Where does little Barry look for guidance when he has all these questions about who he is? His grandparents were lovely people, who believed from day one that you should just treat people, all people, decently. (Go figure.) But in the end, it was his struggle to deal with, and boy, does he mentally struggle. It's quite the peek inside his head, and you better understand how he got where he is today.

3. It's honest. 15 years ago, I don't know if Obama had aspirations for the presidency, but I think if he really did, he wouldn't have written down some of the things he writes here. He's truthful about some of the harsh things he was thinking and feeling. He's truthful about the experiences he had. And the fact that he hasn't denied these things now, is pretty cool, too. (Though it's hard to deny things you wrote in your own memoir, we all know people try and do it anyway...)

Where I'm at in the book, Obama has only just graduated from college. But I'm pleased that through good writing and an honest voice, I can see the same passion for change in the 20-something Obama that I see in our president. I also think that if this book was written by any other person, and I read a good review in my EW or something, that I would still want to read it. He's an interesting man with interesting experiences to share.

The Monster of Florence, Finale

I finished The Monster of Florence tonight. The last half of the book started in the 2000s, with author Doug Preston arriving with his family in Italy to work on a new thriller. He met journalist Mario Spezi and became fast friends. They decided to write an article for The New Yorker about The Monster of Florence (which never got published because 9-11 happened), so Preston got up to speed on the case. It's during this time that we learn Spezi's theory of who the real Monster is, and I have to say I completely agree with his idea. Unlike the Italian police, Spezi has actual evidence that who he thinks it is could actually be the right guy. Spezi and Preston even go to this person's house and interview him.

The thing is, the Italian police think they have the right guy. But they're using false witnesses and falsified evidence to make their case. The wrong man even goes to prison. And then, the police turn on the journalists when Preston and Spezi come out against them. The rest of the book is just unreal. Wrongful imprisonments, intense interrogations, police corruption, etc. I couldn't believe the things I was reading, and I can't imagine what Preston was thinking or feeling when all this was happening.

Being a journalist myself, all this was so interesting, yet so scary for me to read. But I enjoyed the book. True crime, and the author was even a part of it for a little while. What a story!

Romance: The Splendor of Silence

I hardly had time to read this week, let alone write about what I’m reading. So, with this spare moment, I tried to think of, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, any romantic books I would recommend.

I’m not a reader of romances, per se. But, I found romance, though high-school romance, in the Twilight series and Traveling Pants series. There’s romance in plenty of Chick Lit-type books, though it’s mostly cliché. But, when I think of romance, the books that really demonstrated love – all parts of love - were all three books by Indu Sundaresan: The Twentieth Wife, The Feast of Roses and The Splendor of Silence.

I’ve posted previously about The Twentieth Wife and The Feast of Roses, a story and its sequel about the Indian Queen Mehrunnisa and her love for her husband the Emperor, set in 17th- and 18th-century India.

The Splendor of Silence, which is instead set in the 1940s, is about the love between a U.S. Army Captain and the daughter of an Indian politico. Their love is brief, very brief, but it produces something wonderful. The story of the couple’s love, pretty much forbidden, is heartwarming and heart breaking all at the same time. The book is told mostly through flashbacks, and tells of beauty, courage and romance. I saw this book on my shelf the other day and I want to read it all over again. While it's not a love story that's typical - we can't all have four-day, love-at-first-sight, forbidden love affairs, and everyday love is good too - it's still magical and I got swept up in it. And that's my definition of a good romance novel.

End note: While many may think Valentine’s Day is a holiday made up by Hallmark as a way to sell more cards, I think it’s wonderful. In times like these, when we’re unsure of what the future may hold and we’re stressing out, it never hurts to take a moment and celebrate the love you have for those around you. And if Feb. 14 causes us to do that, then more power to cupid.

What are your favorite romance stories - true or fictional?

Q & A

So, these little interviews have been going on all over the blogosphere. Thanks to Pop Culture Junkie, my fellow book lover, for sending me some questions to answer.

Questions:

1. What is one book you hate?

This is a hard question! In my post about Chick Lit, I mention some books I never finished. And there are some other books (On Beauty, The Secret of Lost Things) that I didn't finish last year. However, I'm not sure I can say that because I didn't finish them, I "hate" them. More that they were boring. I pretty much know what I like. I think high school turned me off to Ayn Rand, but if I were to pick up her books again, who knows...

2. What is your favorite classic?

I didn't read too many classics in high school, but in college my roommate introduced me to both Pride & Prejudice and The Great Gatsby. Loved them! But, I think my most favorite classic is Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. I read this book in English 1001 freshman year and was completely surprised by how much I loved it. I should really read it again.

3. What was your favorite book from your childhood?

I read The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett several times, as well as Just As Long As We're Together by Judy Blume (seriously, I probably read that 20 times). I read those books in late elementary school. Earlier than that I loved anything by Tomie dePaola (Strega Nona rocks!), and Molly was my favorite American Girl. (However, when I was reading those 20 years ago, there was only Molly, Samantha and Kirsten. Did you know they're actually retiring Samantha?!)

4. What is your favorite series?

Well, we all know I fell in love with vampires last summer with the Twilight series; I so enjoyed the Traveling Pants; but really, when I have to choose, Harry Potter wins over all series I've ever read (child, teen or adult). They're magical, complex and hopeful, and to put all those themes into a book that's meant for pre-teens/teens, well, that takes some talent. I loved every single one of those books. I look forward to reading them again someday.
5. Do you read hardcovers with the dust jacket on or off?

I used to read with the jacket on, but when I started dating my husband, he would always take the jackets off his books. I realized this kept the cover looking nicer, plus it kept snoopy people on the bus from knowing what I was reading!

Thanks Alea, of Pop Culture Junkie!

What would your answers be? Or:

Want to be Interviewed?
1. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions and let me know when you have posted it, so I can link it.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

The Monster of Florence

I’m in the middle of The Monster of Florence, a retelling of a gruesome string of murders between 1968 and 1985 in Florence, Italy. In the first half of the book, co-author Doug Preston gets us up to speed on the serial killer (or killers) that ripped Florence of its innocence. The killer would target young lovers on moonless nights as they had sex in their cars in different secluded areas. He would kill both by gunshot, and mutilate the female. Eight of these murders (16 people) happened in 17 years time. Due to the fact that all the bullets were from the same gun, and the MO was nearly the same in all cases, the police could only believe they were all connected. The man was named The Monster.

Preston’s co-author Mario Spezi was the journalist during a majority of this time. Because he was so close to the cases, he was seen as an authority figure. He even wrote a book about the murders in the ‘80s. Preston moved to Florence with his family in 2000, learned of the still-unsolved serial murders and partnered up with Spezi to write about it (and try to nab the killer). (If you ever read Thomas Harris’ sequel Hannibal - when Hannibal Lector lives in Florence after escaping at the end of Silence of the Lambs – many of his storylines, themes and characters are based on people from the time of The Monster of Florence. Harris even stayed at the home of the lead investigator.)

I’m almost finished with Part I of the book, which recounts the murders and the coinciding investigation. The police had several different leads, arrested many men, but could never find enough proof to pin the murders on any one person. The retelling of the murders are pretty awful, and it’s very easy to get confused when there are so many players with very similar-sounding Italian names. But, the book is good. Not awesome, but good. It’s painful to read about all the mistakes the police made; this kind of thing didn’t happen in Florence, so I feel they were pretty out of their league, especially at first. But the story is also very interesting. In 2007 it was a Dateline episode, so I’m thinking of trying to find that online and watching it after I read the book.

The second half of the book is Preston’s story – after he moves to Florence and begins his research into the murders. The cover flap even alludes to Preston and Spezi getting so close to the investigation they become suspects themselves. I’m anxious to get to that part.

Coffee, Community & Books

As I was buying a coffee at my local Dunn Bros., I saw an advertisement up for Winter Jackets, a book club sponsored by MELSA, the Metropolitan Library Service Agency. Those who participate in Winter Jackets (by reading library books and going to book events at local libraries) receive a Dunn Bros. Roastmaster Rewards Community Giving card. With this card, users receive discounts on coffee and beans, and in turn, Dunn Bros. gives 10 percent of the dollars spent back to local libraries.

I thought this was a good idea, and puts together two of my favorite things: books and warm beverages. Plus, Dunn Bros. does this for many organizations, not just libraries, so it’s a really cool community-support effort.

So, where are your favorite places to buy coffee? Do you use reward cards? Would you participate in a book club like this?

Pretty Is What Changes: Impossible Choices, the Breast Cancer Gene, and How I Defied My Destiny

I just finished one of the most amazing memoirs I've read. I read it in three days. While the writing is simple, the book is powerful. Jessica Queller, a Hollywood TV writer (Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl), lost her mother to ovarian cancer. Her mother was pretty young, too, around 60. The first few chapters of the book talk about her mother's illness (she had breast cancer several years earlier, too) and how Jessica and her sister nursed her, put their lives on hold during her worst times, and how they eventually lost her.

After she lost her mother, Jessica got some genetic testing done to see if she carried the breast cancer gene. Turns out she did. With this gene, she had an 87 percent chance of getting breast cancer in her lifetime and a 44 percent chance of getting ovarian cancer. This mutated gene is in very few women, but it is passed down from parents to their children.

Knowing she's at high risk for cancer, and that it can happen at any age, Jessica, who was in her early 30s when she tested positive, needs to figure out what she's going to do with the information. Does she just wait and see? Does she do a preemptive strike and have her at-risk organs removed?

Jessica struggles with the information for a few years and we get to go along for the ride. She does massive research, talks to numerous doctors and meets many women who found themselves in her same position. The question of removing one's female organs is not just one of health, but of sexuality, self-esteem and the desire to have a family.

This book made me laugh and cry at several points. Her mother was afraid to die. She held on for probably a lot longer than she should've been able to. Jessica has a whole bunch of fun-loving (and very supportive) friends, including some very famous ones. It was fun to read about all of them. She went on some nightmare dates, but kept her humor through them all. Her mother and grandmother were also very unique, but lovable, characters in the book.

I don't want to tell you her ultimate decision. The book flap doesn't give it away, so I won't either. But the book is wonderful. She discusses how far we've come with genetic testing (couples can create embryos and test them for genetic mutations before deciding to keep them - this is becoming common; is this right, and who's to say?), and brings up so many ethical/moral questions.

What if it were you? Would you want to know if you had the cancer gene? Would you do what it took to prevent it, however extreme? As I'm not in the situation, I can't answer for sure. But more often than not when I weigh it in my mind: Yes & yes.

If you've ever been touched by cancer, whether you, a friend or a family member - and perhaps if because of your parent(s) you've sat and wondered if that makes you that much more susceptible and almost destined for cancer in your future - I think this book is honest, thoughtful and well worth your time. It may be hard to read at some points, but I think it's important. Pretty may change, but the beauty inside never fades.

In the Woods, Finale

I finished In the Woods over the weekend. I really enjoyed it. Throughout the book there were two different mysteries happening at the same time. I did figure out the present-day mystery before it was revealed in the end, but this didn't take away from the story. The other mystery remains open-ended, which I have to admit is a bit frustrating, but I respect the author's decision to leave it that way. Maybe she's leaving it to wrap up in another book, or maybe it's meant for the reader to think about how they feel it should be resolved. While I like books to be wrapped up, whether with a happy or sad ending, I think it takes a form of courage to leave things up in the air.

The book wasn't scary as one may expect a murder story to be, but it was suspenseful. And certain parts had me reading really fast to get to the resolution or the end of the scene. I loved the characters, I loved their thoughts. I also loved how In the Woods kind of overlapped with The Likeness. Having already read The Likeness, I knew what Cassie Maddox was doing at certain times of In the Woods. It reminded me of how the ending of Bourne Supremacy, the movie, was actually found again near the end of Bourne Ultimatum.

(R.I.P. John Updike.)

In the Woods

I’m reading In the Woods by Tana French. I read French’s most recent novel, The Likeness (see reviews I & II), over the summer and really enjoyed it. The Likeness is actually a sort-of-sequel to In the Woods, as it focuses on one of the characters from this book, but you don’t have to read one or the other in any certain order.

In the Woods is about the murder of a 12-year-old girl in the outskirts of Dublin. Detective Rob Ryan has an interesting connection to this case, as when he was 12, two of his friends disappeared in the same woods and he was left alone, covered in blood with no memory of what happened. Whether the two cases, 20 years apart, are connected has yet to be discovered, but I’m guessing they probably are. With his partner, Cassie Maddox (the main subject of The Likeness), Ryan looks to solve this country-side murder mystery.

I really enjoy French’s writing. While to some her books may seem a little long and over detailed – she spends a lot of time inside the head of her main characters – the descriptions and thoughts she illustrates are very elaborate and interesting. She sets the scene well and her characters are very funny and quirky and real. You want to be friends with them (the good guys at least). And the mystery so far is hard to solve, as was the mystery in The Likeness. Throughout both books, I had some ideas, but she was good at changing my mind.

The book is rather long (more than 400 pages), and some reviewers didn’t like that so much. But, I love longer books, especially if they can hold my attention like hers seem to do. I’m sure this weekend I’ll have a hard time putting it down.

The Writing Class

I just finished The Writing Class, by Jincy Willett. I started this book last week and was enjoying it so much that I read more than half of it, and finished it, over the weekend. The story revolves around a continuing education writing class and its students. If you’ve ever taken a writing class – or any class for that matter, i.e. cooking, exercise, crafts – that’s offered up to anyone, you understand how many different personalities come together. You have the old man who thinks he’s the next Updike, you have the young woman who “has a memoir in her,” you have the creepy guy who’s just looking for women, etc.

I found this book instantly interesting because I’ve been in classes or situations like this, and I discovered myself nodding along at the different people. Their instructor is a washed-up novelist who hasn’t written anything is years. She asks them who their favorite authors are and can justly tell something about her students by their answers. (Some lie and say Hemingway and Fitzgerald. Some pick the likes of Stephen King or Dean Koontz. Some she can tell just don't read.) The goal of the class is to bring in your own pieces of fiction and then get critiqued in front of the class. You have to be pretty special in my mind to set yourself up for criticism from strangers. The teacher, sure, but these classmates of yours who you have no idea whether they even understand the basic fundamentals of the English language let alone what you’re trying to write about.

Soon the instructor and several classmates receive threatening notes/phone calls/pranks from someone within the class. Then, a class member is murdered. The class doesn’t cease to meet, yet meets to try to solve who among them is “The Sniper.” For once, I didn’t figure out the ending before I got to it. Willett did a good job making me question who the bad guy was from the beginning. I had one thought throughout the whole book, but I turned out to be wrong. So, that alone made the book fun to read. But I enjoyed all the characters for various reasons, and I liked how Willett gave us information about each of them sporadically throughout the book, not just in one shot like some authors do.

If you’re looking for a quick fiction read, this one is a lot of fun.

Clean House, Clean Planet

My girlfriend, who is very environmentally friendly (she puts most of us to shame) passed this book, by Karen Logan, on to me, so I could learn more about eco-friendly cleaning products. This book is filled with recipes on how to make your own, using things you find in your house such as vinegar, club soda, water, liquid dishsoap, etc. Not only are the products natural, hence better for the planet, but ultimately cheaper as well.

For example, for windows use club soda in a spray bottle. That's it. Club soda - go figure.

For an all-purpose cleaner:
2 Tbsp distilled vinegar
1 tsp borax
Hot water
1/4 c. liquid soap (which you add at the very end after the previous ingredients are mixed thoroughly)

I read through the book, and I think the all-purpose cleaner is what I would use the most. I already use a Green cleaner from the store, but I'll give this a shot as well. My only reluctance is effectiveness. When I'm cutting up raw chicken, I want to know that the cleaner I'm using is killing those nasty germs. Your all-natural products don't always have that germ-fighting in them. But for everyday dust, floors, baseboards and sinks, this is definitely a good way to go.

Logan lists recipes for everything from the carpet to the car. It made me realize either a) I'm not that good of a cleaner, or b) all these different cleaners might not be necessary? Because seriously, I use the same spray bottle cleaner from Target for everything from tables to floors to windows to...My only other cleaner is laundry detergent, and with my sensitivity to all things perfume and dyes, there are very few detergents out there that work for me.

So, I think this book is definitely worth a breeze through, to find the recipes that work for the way you clean. But if you're not a person who cleans all the time - I give the house a good once-over every other weekend - then you may only find a few that are right for you.

What do you use to clean? Would this book be helpful to you?

This Land is Their Land

I’m currently reading This Land is Their Land: Reports from a Divided Nation by Barbara Ehrenreich. I first came across Ehrenreich when in college I read Nickel and Dimed, an immersion journalistic experiment of Ehrenreich’s when she took several minimum wage jobs over the course of a year to see if it was even possible to live on our country’s minimum wage. (From her perspective, you may be able to get by, but just barely.) I enjoyed Nickel and Dimed. It may have been a touch one-sided, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t bring up very valuable lessons and points of interest. Plus, she had her real-life experiences to back it up.

This Land is Their Land, Ehrenreich’s attempt at studying the first decade of the 21st century, is comprised of about 60 essays she wrote for other publications, such as The New York Times and The Progressive. Most often they’re personal rants with very few stats or actual research thrown in. She takes to the mat all the super-rich out there who she believes are the main reason we’re in the mess we’re in right now.

When it comes to the ways of the world, I tend to lean toward Ehrenreich’s side. As she’s chastising Walmart, big-box electronic store CEOs, etc., it’s very easy to cheer her along. It really does seem that these big wigs couldn’t care less about their employees, or the fact that the middle class is failing while they’re only getting richer.

So, I’m on the fence about this book. If you lean blue and like books that preach to the choir, this is definitely it. She’s humorous, sarcastic and can make you laugh out loud. But, if you prefer your emotional rants to come with a little beef in the statistics and proof department, it may be frustrating for you. As a journalist, I take her words with a grain of salt; as a middle-class citizen, her words put some fight in me.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

Ah, vacation is over. I've enjoyed a blissful 12 days off in a row and must go back to work tomorrow - which promises complete and utter busy-ness. I want to post today about the book I finished last week, as the coming days may not allow. How wonderful is vacation, how sad it is to see it end.

Last week I finished Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. Set in 19th-century China, this book is about two young girls who become "old sames," basically, through a matchmaking process that requires many life events to be in order, they become BFFs for life. The story takes us through the lives of Snow Flower and Lily, the narrator, as they get their feet bound (oh my, the horror, I can't even imagine), get promised to different men, marry, have children, live through an uprising, and suffer a misunderstanding.

I really enjoyed this book. It was a quick read, with beautiful imagery. And like with any historical fiction, I like learning about a different culture. I remember learning about this era in Chinese history in college, but most of the facts escape me now. As The Last Chinese Chef brought me bits of 20th-century China, this book brought bits of the previous 100 years.

Like with many paperbacks these days, this book came with "study questions" in the back. Even though I'm not part of a book club - outside this blog - I do like to look at the questions and see how I would answer them. One of the questions talked of Lily being ungrateful, mean, evil, etc., and I was just shocked. Sure, there were misunderstandings between the old sames, but there are misunderstandings between best friends all the time. It's the strength of your friendship that gets you through, that helps you forgive or beg for forgiveness, and just because you both suffer a situation like the one described in the book, that doesn't make one or the other of you bad. So, no, I don't think Lily was wrong or unkind in any way. I think this was a lovely story about friendship - female friendship. How it's different than your relationship with your husband, boyfriend or significant other. How important and how necessary it is. No matter what time in history.